I just gave my first guest lecture at Cornell University!(An..

I just gave my first guest lecture at Cornell University!

(And yes—if you're a fan of The Office, this is Andy Bernard’s alma mater, which somehow makes it even more iconic 😅💪🏻)

This post is going to be a bit of a diary-style, motivational reflection—so if that's not your thing, at least there's a hot picture of me 😄

The lecture went amazing! The students asked such thoughtful and interesting questions.

But more than anything, what I want to talk about is this:

When I first started my OnlyFans and began being more active on social media, I really struggled with how I presented myself in public. I was always quite open in academic/public spaces about what I do—I manage a bro.thel, I go to swingers events, I'm very open about my sex life...

But at the same time, I was raised to embody this “serious academic” persona. You know the drill: to be taken seriously, you have to act serious. You need the right publications, you must respect the hierarchy, you must behave a certain way to be considered a “good scholar.”
And heaven forbid you have an OnlyFans—and dare to be open about it.

For a while, I kept it as a secret. Not because I was ashamed of what I do—but because I feared that people in academia might think less of me.
Looking back, I realize how stupid that was. I think deep down, I always knew it, but I needed time to truly process it.

I had placed restrictions on myself before anyone else even had the chance to judge me. Eventually, I said: Fuck it. I'm a good scholar—maybe not the best—but I bring something unique to the table. I’m not going to hold myself back just because someone might view me through a narrow, stereotypical lens.

What others think of me says more about them than it does about who I really am.

So when I gave that lecture, I also talked openly about being a content creator. And you know what? It felt liberating.

And guess what else?
No one told me I don’t belong in academia because of it.

So here’s the takeaway:

We all create imaginary restrictions for ourselves. We worry, "What will they think of me if I start/say/do XYZ?" And in doing so, we hold ourselves back—not because of real obstacles, but because of fear.

But when we own our choices and stand confidently behind them, we realize:
We are allowed to be complex. We are allowed to be many things at once.

And the world doesn’t end when we embrace all parts of who we are.
In fact—it might just start to open up ❤️